Valuable Goods

There’s a scene in Pretty Woman where the main character, Vivian, is denied service at the fancy shop because the saleswomen accurately assess her to be lower status. Lower caste. Vivian returns later to gloat that they missed out on big commissions by turning her away.

“Big mistake. Big. Huge.” (such a great line…)

So the mistake here was not turning away a person. It was missing out on money.

What if that choice cost those shopkeepers more than money? What if they pay a cost on their souls for treating a person with callousness? What if we really had to pay a bill if we caused someone pain and suffering?

If that was so, when vulnerable people set boundaries and remove the opportunity to treat us unkindly we would be saving all you cruel people from running up cosmic bills you don’t want to pay.

That would entail this audacious idea that we are valuable beings. That our existence comes with a weight and value that, when violated, incurs a cost.

The way that someone would have to pay a high price if they damaged the Mona Lisa. What if you had to pay if you damaged people? Wouldn’t it be a compassionate kindness to put up barriers or shields?

I don’t think any reasonable person would advocate that the general public be allowed to walk up to the Mona Lisa and touch it. Even if we concede (which I don’t) that most people would be respectful. We all understand that there needs to be protection because the Mona Lisa is valuable.

We allow it to be given space and protection because the cost of its damage would be too high. We all agree it needs to be protected from the possibility of damage. Because if Gary the tourist from Des Moines smears Mona’s cheek with his greasy finger he wouldn't be able to pay the cost of repair.

Just like we protect the Mona Lisa, we can protect ourselves. Setting boundaries is a way of protecting ourselves. It also protects them from being in the position to harm us. Keeping physical distance protects us. Keeping emotional distance protects us. Good boundaries serve to protect all involved, even if it’s uncomfortable.

We all deserve safety. We’re all worthy of protection.